New Places, New Spaces

Hello All,

I pray you are nourishing your bodies, accepting yourselves for all that you are, and taking life day by day.

I come to you with news that is both scary and beautiful, exciting and overwhelming. This past weekend, I moved 12 hours away from home, and now I’m in the midst of settling in, looking for jobs, and focusing on my recovery in a new place.

West Virginia has been my home for 22 years. It’s where I got sick, where I learned to heal, and where I worked to become a better person.

I fit there. I had a routine, a job, and a semblance of a life that those small towns could offer me.

Now, I’m somewhere else—and as small and silly as it may sound, I have to figure out how to fit here.

There’s nothing like challenging myself in recovery by moving to a place where the attire is bikinis and shorts.

There’s no challenge like living with someone who doesn’t eat the way a person should, the way a person needs to -- the way I need to see it to stay healthy.

I’m terrified of losing progress. I’m afraid of seeing myself here in ways that the sun never could in WV.

I’m terrified that I left the place that taught me it’s okay to eat. I’m scared of all these new people who might see my body and hate it, though they don’t know the half of what I used to put it through.

But here’s the thing about life: it doesn’t care if you’re ready or not; it goes and goes and goes. It’s our job not to miss all that it can offer by staying where it’s comfortable.

And you guys know me—I have NEVER been comfortable in this skin. So, I might as well be uncomfortable in a place that can offer me more, in a place where I can offer myself more.

I know I wasn’t meant to stay in a bubble just because there’s a fear of relapse. Relapse is always a possibility, but I feel stronger now. I feel ready for new beginnings and new challenges. I feel ready for whatever God wants me to face next.

I am rooting for you all so deeply.

With love always,

Rach