Finding Purpose

Hello All, I hope everything is going well. I hope you are fueling your bodies, nourishing your bodies AND minds, and finding room to give yourself peace.

Today I come at you with life questions, frustrations, and a since of confusion.

Lately I have felt a void that has yet to be filled by anything meaningful, and I find myself feeling like I bring nothing to the table while sitting in room with more than enough intellectual people.

I want so much more for myself than what I am doing now. I want a life that sometimes seems unachievable. — and I know I am only 20, but I look at surrounding peers knowing so much about the world and it’s politics, knowing what the want for their future, and enjoying the path that they are on. — and I sit back and watch sparks of light in peoples eyes finding their joy and purpose in what they are learning, or doing, and I feel like I fall short every time.

I don’t want to be looked at as someone with no motivation, no drive. I don’t want to be looked at as stupid, or a waste of god given space.

I find so much peace in writing about mental health. I find so much joy in writing music. — although I am afraid that sometimes I am writing things that people will never care to hear.

I want to find a purpose in a school that has taught me how to get by, and I am not sure how to do that. I strive for challenge and knowledge that I can carry with me through the years.

I want to be so much bigger than I am now.

I am frustrated and I want answers. I want purpose. I want meaning.

I look at adults miserable in careers they spent so much time and effort for. I look at artists and athletes doing things they once enjoyed, turn into nothing more than employment for them now.

In therapy this morning, I let out these frustrations because I am so afraid of never being fulfilled, or never being able to bring something to the table that I, and others can see that there is a purpose in me being here.

Sometimes life makes you questions the things you are doing in your life now, to hopefully ignite a spark in you to change and make a change.

We are all meant to be here. We are all meant to find a light in what we choose to do.

We are all meant to find a purpose, yet sometimes we lose our sight along the way for things more materialistic.

If you haven’t heard it today, or if you haven’t heard it ever, I am proud of what your are doing. I am proud of you finding fulfillment in things that others may seem as less than. I am proud of you for not knowing what you want, but still trying to find it. I am proud of you for solely getting by, and doing the best you can.

We don’t have to know what we want for the rest of our lives. — but we also shouldn’t feel threatened because others may be perceived to have it all in a plan.

If you were to ask me what my life plan was 5 years ago, it would not match up to anything that I am doing now — and that’s okay. There can be no plan when life has its own way of happening to us, for us. If you were to ask me 5 years ago what I wanted for myself, well those thoughts have now changed. I have changed.

I wrote this post today, to hopefully bring some questions back in your life, to make sure you are getting the fulfillment you deserve to have. I wrote this post today, because I care about how you perceive yourself, and I hope you see yourself the way I do. Which is deserving of love, care, nourishment, peace, and to find something that brings value to your life.

Value to everyone is going to look different. — but the beautiful thing about that is that there is no right or wrong when it comes to what is important to you.

Whatever you are doing, or working towards, I just hope you can love apart of it.

We are not meant to compare our paths to someone else’s. We are meant to fulfill ourselves. We are meant to be human. We are meant to ALL have different plans.

I pray you give yourself a break. I pray you learn to love yourself. I pray you know that your life is not meant for anybody else’s approval.

Love Always,

Rach <3