CONTROL

Confronting the control factor

If you ask my close family members, it is safe to say I have a slight issue with control. I like to be in charge of certain aspects of my life (and others) to make me feel safe and content in knowing what is going on. I’ve never liked change, and I have never been too good at accepting it either.

This I soon came to realize came to play a part in my eating disorder.

I couldn’t control my parents divorce, my cousins overdose, my grandmas death, who could love me back, or ANYTHING in between, but I could control what was entering my body. I could control to restrict, or I could control the nights of binging. — but the thing I thought I had control over the most, is actually the thing that is most out of control.

Weird right?

Trying to control one thing, led me to be out of control with everything.

I then read articles of people opening up about what they had started doing, and didn’t realize was hurting them in the long run. It could be something as hard as having to sweat in order to get to sleep, or as simple as needing to use the thinner utensil.

The point of this post is to become aware with your “habits” that may be leading you into the wrong direction. Notice what you need to control in your life, whether it be food, your relationships, your grades, or whatever it may be, and really realize the deeper meaning (if there is one) and try to fix that habit/talk about it if it is leading you down a negative path. Some habits are SO normal that we don’t recognize the negative effects it may be causing in our personal relationships.